depressed…I have an solution…

have you felt a hollow deep down your heart??????have you ever felt you dont fit in anymore….like moreover depressed your head keeps throbbing….your feelings goes unnoticed….you always seem to be an outcast….however you try to adjust you are always pointed out for your inability..everyone criticizes you…

there are people who do grave mistakes and still go unnoticed but even a trifle mistake from your side creates a lot of fuss……your girlfriend boyfriend or none of your dear ones seems to understand what you are going through…you have lost interest in your work…feeling void …..opaque…no one seems to care…

life is not the same…you might feel…tired moreover like a machine….you feel like stressed ,perhaps turning insane…mad angry…frustrated….

I think I know a medicine…..

dont think about anything….ask all those worries to screw itself..go take your pillow….sleep well….there is no worry and pressure a good slumber cant cure…..lets face the problems with a fresh mind …

..above all you are the king of your world….

not interested….do something interesting…

its upto your perspective to decide whats interesting.

if people ignore you….

its time you should start ignoring them….

if people laughs at you….

it means you are an interesting personality,,,,

you are great…you have enemies…

that means people are noticing you….

they are either jealous of you…or want to be like you….

or scared of your growth…

that makes you special….doesnt it???…..

ps: sleeping is my favourite hobby…

 

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my heart my foe

Image result for images sad love

heart keeps burning…

trust keeps dwindling,

agony keeps increasing

my life keeps deteriorating….

 

I am scared

I am scarred

more than anyone

could ever imagine….

 

I smile I act

but underneath

this mask of happiness…

you find a tears unfolding….

 

only if you smile…

if you tell I am there..

I would wait for a

thousand years ahead…

 

I didnt ask you

for a million dollars

but a simple smile

and a lovely word….

 

 

but still you refused…

I cried a lot

and now I am not

same fragile girl

who loved you to the core…

I have moved on…..

 

and now you…

realize the mistake

you done….

and you are back

to mend and rebuild

our shattered dreams…

 

but sorry baby…

you lost me already…

as you taught me…

not to trust anybody….

 

here I am strong

lonely and alone

happy above all….

let my tears remain with myself..

coz I cant afford to hurt myself..

once more…

 

no more sorrys….

no more dramas..

no more unworthy discussions

no more pacifying your stupid ego…

 

and finally I moved on…

though I cry….

I will not tell you

how I feel….

 

for I buried my feelings

decades before…..

but still my heart sobs

as our eyes meet

longing remains intact…

for my heart still refuse

to hear what my brain tells….

 

 

my friend

 

 

every time my heart breaks apart,

I think about you my dear,

I start laughing at my mirth as if you are near,

you have been at my side at every fear…

making me smile when I cry…

by your stupid jokes and foolish looks…

when all the girls queued up behind you…

you were by me for I was just a friend to you..

My hero who saves my day…

and you hate the word thanks…

for you always say ,

there is no sorry or thanks in friendship….

 

but today a tiny tear skips my eye…

which you wouldnt allow if you were near,

baby when I think of you….

all those fights quarrels kicks….

my friend I miss u dear…

 

I never told you

how much you mean to me…

perhaps that is,

the magic of friendship..

more divine..

lingering every second..

more deep more silent tears of longing..

 

And every time I shed tears…

you mock at me….

“stop your drama” you smirk…

making me smile between my tears.

 

A sibling,a mom,a daddy,a lover..

my friend you are all in one…

your care depends..

on number of times we kick each other….

my Eiffel tower…my best friend.

love to infinity ,,,

is always friendship..

and from the depth of my heart..

friendship is the best relationship ever…

in love with night

I lay awake,

on my bed….

its half past twelve,

i turn around I delve….

 

its late …..

I turn irate…

why cant I sleep?

for I am a person who droop,

every second past ten…..

 

I raise from my bed,

I tread down the stairs,

its dark ;

but I see that old forgotten mark…..

on my window pane,

 

I sit there in dark….

caressing that old mark…

staring into the wide dark…

pushing open the window  ….

 

as the cool breeze sweeps my hair,

and tickles my long lost happiness,

I smile after a long while,

as the memories resonate back to me…..

 

beauty of the night,

the spirit of dark greeted me,

she was in her splendor,

her lovely head erect ,

with the strange sense of power…

 

I am in love with darkness…

In love  with her aura…

her distinct aurora….

I sit there gaping at her silence,

in love with the depth of darkness…..

and the intertwined secrets she keeps…

 

she smiles….I look blank…

for I never felt so shrank,,,,

completely drawn I sit…

bewitched in her I look….

 

how lovely she looks ,

as she moves in moonlit lane,

the stars smile at me,

for they recognize me….

a girl who once,

always stared at them…

and wished to converse with them…

but now never glances at their side…

 

I love it more,

coz my lovely dark spirit,

may have walked into dark…

because never did light show us the truth….

it has always showed us disguises,

 

In the mild breeze

I sit

staring into expanse of darkness

basking in its weirdness,,,,,,

 

I am crazy you might think,

for you would love it more,

if you ever had time,

to enjoy the beauty of night….

 

 

 

my brother,,,,,,,my super hero

“Walk fast or else some one will catch us”cried a boy of ten……”no I cant my leg hurts,,,,,,I wanna go back home…I want to go to mummy “retorted his sister….”It is really easy all you gotta do is jump over this fence….and after that no one will find us….”she followed him silently without an other word……as they passed a mango tree…”I want mangoes “cried his sister……

“no…..it is infested with red ants….I cant climb that tree”said her brother….

thud thud two drops of tears falls from his little sisters large brown  eyes..

” I’ll get you those mangoes and promise me you wont tell mom Ok??”..his sister smiles….

the brother climbs the tree with red ants outlining every  branch…he scratches all over him as ants bite him mercilessly and throws down the mangoes to his sister,…..

he climbs down scratching all over and whisking away ants which bites and clings to his skin…his sister bites the mango and throw it away stating that it is sour…..

he walks with her without a word of complain still whisking off the ants from him….”my leg hurts “complained his little sister…..

now he walks taking her in his hands , listening  ,and answering her stupid questions as she asks him about every silly bird and stone….they walk through the small ways with climbers and creepers.

he takes her to the pond and its steps are greenish with a cover of algae…..”ok are you happy???” he asks but his sister shakes her head …”I want that lotus”she cries pointing to the middle of the pond…..

he says”sit here and dont come near the water ,I will get you the flowers ” as he swims away his little sister moves towards the water…….the brother turns after plucking the flower……his sister is missing…..tears gush down his eyes…..he calls out for her he cries…there is no reply..at last he finds her drowning….he pulls her off the pond…. she drank a lot of water…..she hugs him tightly ……the elders came as they heard their cries….

 

the brother is tied to the pillar by the dad and whipped badly with a belt…..he cries , apologizes and begs her dad not to whack him…..his four year old sister is now semiconscious .

she runs and tries to pull her dad off….as her dad doesnt relent she runs to her brother and hug him ….her dad whipped them  …..but she doesnt leave….she clings on her brother….mark of belt nearly tore her skin off…..dad throws the whip and tries to pull her away but she clings more tightly….

she leaves only when her dad promises not to thrash her brother again,,,,,……

her brother laughs wiping his tears as he leave he whispers in his sisters ears”I will teach you to swim tomorrow”.

 

 

 

i wish I could disappear…..

i wish I could disappear,

into thin air,

and never look back,

to the world I left behind…

 

I inter today

no one would mourn

if I leave this world

no concern will be unfurled…

 

so what does my life ?

and all this strife

ever mean……

when I turn out to be..

a burden for everyone around me…

 

I know I brought in

this misfortune …

my folly ,the reason why I cry,

my anger and frustration

do burns relations….

 

I wish I could die…

my breath would leave me….

but I have to pay back debts

of my parents love and care …

so I EXIST….

 

I hurt people around….

I turn out to be drowned..

in my throbbing head…

sulking in others coldest stares…

 

I know I am wrong….

but never did I ever mean …

to be an outcast….

never did I dream ….

I would never fit in …

 

I wish I could

fly away

somewhere far…..

where people dont change..

 

but here

people change

so fast that

even chameleons

will lose a fight…

if they ever keep a  duel …

 

they smile they speak..

and give in false promises….

if they ever need us..

and throw us away

like a tissue….when they dont…

 

i wish to run away…..

to pathless wood

and cry aloud….

cause being lonely

is always better than

false friends around….

 

i act like i dont care…

but truth is that…

my heart break apart

 

but still I cry

for the worthless ones around…

for this is the curse

of having a heart that loves…

 

I wish I could breath…

the fresh breeze….

but here I lie suffocating…

here I lie suffering…

just because I believed in you…