My love, you aren’t mine anymore
This cant be true, It must be a daydream I suppose or perhaps just a hallucination which might have been an consequence of my vivid imagination .
Everything seems surreal more like a wish being granted, so beguiling that I can’t rely on the genuineness of the vision provided by dear own eyes, but cant deny I have terrific senses that closely resemble a vampire in its precision but now I just can’t trust them.
Contradictory to my apprehensions here he is, my trainer, captivating as always with the same charisma and concomitance he had on me at our very first meeting as a result red boxing gloves never cease to send a shiver down my spine.
His appearance hasn’t altered any. Snowy pale skin ,perfect nose, wicked grin which could coerce any maiden lose her resolve on virginity. His six foot stature ,wide shoulder and the muscular body beneath his loose shirt, his eyes, his dreamy brown eyes how in the world I hate?I hate the effect it has on me.
I stare into his eyes to find his imploring mine, a glare of grave despair soon replaced by a twinkle.I shudder in his fixed glare but my eyes denied to look elsewhere.
My stare averts as Abhi calls out to me.
I look away ,realising that I was gawking at trainer for so long. A thousand questions implode my head ,but there was something I want to ask him above all if he could witness the same as I could ,my trainer’s presence.
but emotions and multitude of thoughts intercept my words.All that I able to do is to hiss in Abhi’s ear”who?”
he smiles”My brother Sid”.
I gave out an exasperated sigh.
“full name please ?”I plead completely filled with remorse hoping this shouldn’t be my trainer ,this should be someone who resembles him.I am just over him now ,he just can’t appear out of nowhere to break my heart now.
“Shyam Siddarth” he replied tattering my heart in strands of joy or sorrow I cant tell perhaps both.
Trainer indeed Sid briskly walked towards me ,composed as he ever has been without a merest attempt to avert his glare from me, extended his hand “Hi, you are Abhi’s friend I hope, nice meeting you ,Can I please know your good name?”
I shrug terrified, dumbstruck reluctantly slid my hands to his sending a jolt of electricity through my veins. I can sense that magic ,the connection I haven’t felt with any other man. I desired to shout at him with my deepest frustration but I blurted out “Amy” which was merely a whisper.
“nice name” he remarked with his pleasant good natured smile.He had the ease of a well bred gentleman whereas Abhi was good but doesn’t care about others feelings perfectly unlike me I am just an overgrown kid.
My heart bellowed in grief, he doesn’t remember me at all .I loved him for nothing, he screwed up my life and now looks at me like a stranger.I felt my world tumbling down in shreds.
I managed a plastered smile ,though misery cuddled my emotions, a pang of disappointment barricaded my heart reminding myself again I must have been just an another girl who would ever remember a plain looking girl like me and does strike out the option of love.
I pulled off my hand
“I have to leave “I said before my frustration and disdain could attack my tear glands.
Anitha circled around Sid with her gravest attempts to seduce him which he least noticed.
I walk away briskly with Abhi running behind me to keep up the pace.
I climb into Abhi’s Ferrari, even the fine features of his exquisite car hasn’t induced a glee or a frail spike in my cheer for all that remain in my head my breath and soul was my Sid.
I turn back before we left to find Sid staring at us from far behind.
I give Abhi a false smile and an careless comment “WOW,what a lovely car”.
“Thanks” he mutters”I have better ones.”
It was enough for my Abhi for he was easily deceivable
“”how does my brother look?”he asks breaking the grave silence unaware of the turmoil beneath my eyes.
“Mmm” I answer uninterested “he looks good”.
“just good,girls go nuts behind him”he said with surprise.
“looks can be deceiving ,there can be a devil lurking behind. well Anitha finds him really attractive may be they are good together”I splurt out with pure disgust.
“No demon, I assure “Abhi said”he is an angel, perfect son a well known celebrity ,he is obviously a devil in music and boxing certainly makes me envy him .Anitha, poor girl .How can she be so insane for this whole world knows my brother is already engaged with his childhood sweetheart. I think by next spring they will be married.
“what?”I ask my heart sunk into depths of misery.Trying hard not to break down I ask”Isnt he young?”hoping he would tell me it was just a joke
“yes he will be only 21 next spring, but cant wait anymore because with this marriage our family will be one of the richest in the country.It is more like a business.She is the heir of a large fortune.”he laughed.
“Does he love her?”I asked with growing disappointment clearly understanding I don’t stand a chance with her,she can give him everything ,all I could give him is a burden called me.My daddy’s disgust and a dangerous life.
I envy the girl though I don’t know who she is.
“obviously,they are so much into each other”he grinned.
“good”I said gloomily. The impact these words had on me was colossal .I made up mind to forget him why does my heart rip apart when I hear about his engagement.
I look at through the window, the skies dampen, clouds heavy so is my heart.